Posted by
The Helmsman on Saturday, June 28, 2008 12:00:00 AM
Once elected to office it is not unusual to learn of elected politicians’ acquiring some sort of license to hunt and bag some “strange”. There doesn’t appear to be a bag limit or consideration of political persuasion. Slobbering Barney is proof that sexual persuasion is not a factor as well. A glee club of sorts encompassing all rank and file from Presidential, Congressional, Gubernatorial, Mayoral, and even the budding local Councilmen have been reported to having acquired such a license.
The scarlet letter has been worn by many officials since the dawn of government. Infidelity visits local households as well. The truth of the matter is, by our very nature, mankind is not monogamous. We never have been.
At the beginning of Darwin’s trail we find the dominant Alfa male had first selection and the Beta males were left to fight over the scraps and/or bucktoothed rejects. While some budding Alpha’s may strut into the harem, by and large the social order of procreation was established. Accept it.
There were other governing boundaries to be sure. Geography was the initial governing factor. If you lived in the distant rural areas fidelity was somewhat guaranteed – providing, of course, you didn’t have a lot of farm animals.
With the advent and marginal cost of rapid and far reaching transportation the issue has become more “recreational”. Fling, once defined by Webster as “to toss” has taken on an entirely new definition. Governmental officials and cooperate elite soon found their favorite fishing holes polluted by the proletariat. The sport of Kings was endangered.
Something needed to be done.
Control of promiscuity was necessary. The advent of government and religion supplied the needed tools. Specific rules and regulations were adopted to control a manufactured moral issue. However, there lacked a consensus. To date it is a grey area yet to be defined socially, politically or religiously. Some religious rules impress upon us that faithfulness to our spouse and family is paramount while other religious doctrines promote bigamy and or polygamy. Politicians are just as split regarding the issue.
Oh yes, on the political front there was even more confusion. Internet, Porn has really muddied the waters – especially for the independents that feel such an issue should be handled “first hand”.
The “Right” traditionally runs on a platform of Family Values and Social Morals. When they get caught getting their cookies out of another’s jar they are left without an escape route so they typically resign. The “left” recognized this flaw and ignored such values and issues in their platform. To them it made much more sense to ignore the moral issue altogether. In this way when one of their members are challenged with a personal failing they simply rely on an “Ol’ Blue Eyes” album spinning the lyrics to “That’s Life” and they move on with politics as usual. You have to hand it to them, such a position allows them to save face, meet the issue head on and yet maintain their political office. As a result very few members of the left need to resign for breaching a moral position or social commitment. No hypocrisy. Brilliant!
During divorce procedures “Alienation of affection” as a contention has been dismissed by more and more States since the left has come into power. If this contention is to be dismissed, then we really need some middle ground. I hate making rules governing one’s life but let’s face it, on this issue there really should be a few simple rules to follow.
A typical calendar is really the only tool needed for guidance. Letterman and Moses have their top ten regarding many issues so allow me to introduce my “Top Ten” list to follow when one is feeling a bit randy.
When contemplating marital transgressions
10) Your actual wedding day should be specifically dedicated to your spouse.
9) Honeymoons should be sacred. Not the best time to appear exhausted.
8) Anniversaries are a “No Brainer”
7) Christmas is definitely a time when certain packages should not be opened.
6) Thanksgiving is reserved for “the other” turkeys
5) Birthdays – odds are, you will be missed
4) President’s day – reserved for higher ranking officials.
3) Independence Day - the “fireworks” should come from your own back yard.
2) Father’s Day: your kids spent the entire week fabricating their cards and choosing your gift. It is only right that you be there, Mr. Sanford
1) Mother’s Day. Duh!!! Every Family is Centered around this special Day.
This leaves you with 355 days in any given year to transgress should you decide to through caution, religion and moral values to the wind.
The Helmsman