Most of us in our fifties or sixties remember the little wooden basset hound, duck or kitten we pulled behind us as we traversed every room in the house and challenged our parents’ patience to the point of suicide. Fortunately for all concerned the toy would mysteriously disappear before the precipice was reached.

As the new “symbolic tax revolt” nears, the pressure is on. I am receiving calls and emails from people I haven’t spoken with in months – even years. The common denominator seems to be today’s ubiquitous interrogative: “which tea party are you going to?”

For the record, I have decided to stand at my own helm. I have no intention of engaging in an exercise of futility. The Tax Day Tea Party goal is currently billed as a symbolic tax revolution. That’s absurd. There are only two means to achieve any goal – either brute force or intellectual persuasion.    This proposed tea party lacks both elements.

At best this tea party is a hastily constructed mob. Mobs, regardless of their origin or intent are seldom recognized for their intellectual capacity: independent thought loses ground to mass hysteria. There are no – for lack of a better term – Generals, Strategists or Central Leaders behind this symbolic tea party. A cause lacking a course of action simply serves no purpose. 

Rick Santelli may be the individual largely recognized as the tea party instigator. I use the term “instigator” because there was no plan or objective in place. This whole thing started with a vigorous “rant”. The instantaneous communication capabilities via the internet inadvertently set the Hessian Soldier on a new mount: nothing more.

If we step back and look at this strangely conceived call to arms we can easily spot two constants: 1) It is a well publicized party: so is the 4^th of July. 2) The central “bad guy” in this particular situation is “big government and excessive taxation”.  With regards to the first constant, when observing Independence Day most of the participants’ focus does not go beyond the fare on the picnic table or the bright and pretty colors filling the night sky. The second constant can be laid to rest as a complete and utter lack of recognition. The average American actually has no clue as to how much of their earnings (property) actually go to big government as taxes.

Here is what will happen. On April 15^th, 2009, scattered hither, thither and yon throughout this country, thousands, perhaps even tens of thousands of Americans will engage in a deceptive unification to voice their objection to Big Government, excessive spending and taxation without representation. Deceptive unification: yes. Forgive them father, for they know not what they do: literally.   On April 16^th, 2009, the status quo will prevail as everyone returns to work – for those that have jobs – and the beat goes on…and the beat goes on. 

Nature provides us with a perfect example of what is to come following this Tax Day Tea Party. For those Americans residing in the Deep South, the familiar sight of fire ant mounds popping up in yards and pastures is by now accepted as status quo.  

For grins and giggles take a piece of paper, make a name tag, label it as “Big Government” and pin it to your shirt. On another piece label it as Excessive Taxes” and wrap it around a big stick. Now, stand within six inches of a fire ant mound for a few moments. After a few moments you will be accepted as a natural obstacle to the foragers. Without moving your feet bend over and plunge the stick into the mound and twist it once.  Let go of the stick and watch the show.  Immediate Chaos!  

The entire surface of the mound comes alive with a massive swarm of workers, soldiers and gatherers. Bumping into and climbing over one another- perhaps an isolated skirmish or two. The soldiers cover every inch of the intruding stick but failing to recognize or make a connection to the actual threat it is ignored. Within five minutes order is restored. The soldiers return to quarters. The foragers continue to scout for food and the workers go back to work. If you have the patience to wait watch the workers incorporate the Big Stick as part of their mound. It is now safe to remove the name tag from your shirt and walk away.

There is no telling what Santelli’sintentions were – perhaps he was merely looking for a pull toy to play with.